I am not feeling very present today at all. Productive? Yes, but present? Nope. First let me just say that when something gets in my head, it’s not always easy to shake it out. I received a phone call about a very sick longtime family friend this morning. He is heavy on my heart as his family. I then received an email from another friend who needs to discuss something with me this week. In person. I replied, “I hope everything is OK” to which the reply was, “Things are not good”. Gulp. Worry climbed right into my head. Does worry change the outcome? Nope. But I can’t help it. How can I be present when my moments are not the ones in my mind right now? Well I think that is when I turn to being productive. It’s my way of feeling in control when so very often, life feels kinda out of control. So guess what I did today? I went on a 4 mile walk. I felt a little like Forest Gump, like I could have kept walking and walking and walking. But I didn’t, instead I stopped at 4 miles and got an iced coffee cause those always make me smile. I came home and then I cleaned. And cleaned and cleaned. Now I am sitting her feeling sad. Hoping for good news and miracles but knowing that may not happen. Sigh. At least my house is clean, right? Maybe I should bake some cookies. I promise to be present while eating them with my kids 
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